MiE: Revival
by jak3combat
Summary: Almost a year after his death, Mark is back from the dead. Though, he's not sure as to how he is. Rated M for body gore, actual gore (maybe), swearing, drinking, and possible clop.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Well... Here. I've been playing around with the idea for a while, and finally typed it down. Even I have no idea where this'll go.**

Grunting, I was glad that they buried my sorry ass in the ground with my stuff. Otherwise I would have suffocated due to being in a coffin underground.

Also, I'm glad that they don't have metal or stone caskets.

"Raagh!" I grunted, sticking my hand out of the ground in true zombie fashion. After a moment, I pawed around to find that there was only grass and a headstone around me. I grunted again, and clawed the dirt away from the hole.

This suit was fucking hot and I wanted out!

A few minutes later, I was peeling the stifling suit off of me, swearing in Russian. And I paused as I noticed my skin colour.

Forgetting all thoughts of getting out of my suit, I scrambled to the creek that was bubbling some twenty yards away, not believing what I had seen.

"What the fuck did this..." I breathed, touching the burnt side of my face, now showing a spider-webbed skull. Peeling off the rest of my suit and fatigues, I saw that what skin I was showing had turned a dull grey, all life having been drained.

Somehow, I was surprised, even though I shouldn't have been. I did die, and unless enbalming exists, I would have rotten flesh by now. I didn't have a nose, so I couldn't sniff myself to check my stench levels.

"Alright, calm down.." I muttered, running a bony hand through what little hair I had left. "I know Dawn didn't do this, considering that I would be a normal human, so that leaves necromancy. But who in Equestria would be insane enough to raise the dead?" I didn't even know if it was possible to raise the dead like I was, but in a world of magic, it was my best bet. Nobody was gonna believe that I had returned unless I had more proof than a dug up grave and my stuff, so I was going to have to dig deeper.

On to Canterlot. But first, a dip in the creek and a cloak or something to hide my dead-ness. I didn't feel the water flowing through my ribcage, which unnerved me a bit until I had to remind myself that I was dead and so were my nerves. And all major organs... Honestly, I'm surprised that I'm able to think, let alone talk. Considering that a brief inspection of my throat revealed that my esophagus had eroded away and I didn't have any vocal cords. Hearing was half understandable, considering that my ear drums weren't in the ear lobe, but they still should have rotted away by now.

"Right..." I finished washing myself and checked over my suit for anything useful.

I set off into town with a trench knife, pants, boot (the other wouldn't fit due to my bone foot), and a pair of aviators that somehow fit my earless head. I would have to break into Rarity's Boutique and fashion myself a cloak to hide my hideous body before even thinking of using the train.

Ponyville hadn't changed much since I had died, but the war memorial sitting in the middle of town square was new. I stopped for a moment to read the bronze plague on the bottom.

_In Memorium of the Fallen Heroes_  
_That Saved Ponyville, and Equestria as a Whole_  
_From Tyranny and Enslavement_

_General Mark Durnkinscoff  
__Private Connor o'Drake  
__Staff Sergeant Lex Deurring  
__Master Sergeant Rick Duran  
__Senior Medical Officer Isaac Thompson  
__Private First Class Brandon Duffy  
__Lieutenant John Masterson_

"Shit, Duffy didn't make it?" I muttered, slowly getting to my feet. "And the Lieutenant must've been the pilot." I looked around the deserted square, before nodding and heading off to Marshmallow's shop.

I knew that living in Ponyville had made Blake soft about security. I was able to fucking walk in through the front door! Looking around the main room, I quickly spotted the way upstairs. I had to go up there and risk waking the both of them (three, if Sweetie Belle is there) up, because she doesn't keep her supplies downstairs. With a quiet sigh, I placed my foot on the first step and winced when it creaked like a bitch.

I stood there for a fucking minute, waiting to hear Blake shout or something. Surprisingly, I didn't wake anyone up, but that worked in my favour.

I quietly scurried up into the storage room, and selected a bolt of dyed silk with a small frown.

"Sorry Rarity." I muttered, finding a needle, a spool of thread, and a pair of sissors, before getting to work.

Thanks to my uncanny knowledge of stitching and sewing (my mother), I had fashioned myself a working cloak that went down to my feet, complete with hood. To hide my face completely, I had a pair of aviators and a bandana for my lower face. The mirror in the room showed none of my body at a casual or brief glance, but one could tell that I was human.

I replaced the noticably thinner bolt onto the shelf and snuck back out, wondering how the fuck I was going to repay Rarity. I'm pretty sure gold dye was a litte hard to come by. I could actually feel the cloak and bandana's weight, so I knew that a little bit of actual gold was used with the dye. Still cut easily, though.

The train station was deserted, and a train was just sitting there like an asshole would in a public space. So I hopped on board, put a few bits that I had scavenged from the wishing well onto a table, and settled in for some sleep.

Even though I've had up to a year of it, I was still tired from all this sneaking about.

God... I don't even know how AJ would react to this. And my own child would probably wonder who the hell I am, if he or she was old enough to comprehend that s/he only had a mother at the moment.

I fell asleep with troubling thoughts.

The train whistle startled me awake. With a groan, I looked around the train car, seeing a few ponies having conversations. What really made me worry was the fact that Rainbow Dash, Pinkie, and Gallan were softly talking a few seats away. Pinkie looked over and waved, smiling like she always did.

"Morning~" She chirped, before going back to the conversation.

"I see that you're awake." Gallan said, moving over to the seat opposite mine. I shifted a bit so I faced him.

"Yeah. These seats are oddly comfortable." I answered, altering my voice more than the bandana did.

"I take it you know that you're not on Earth anymore?" Gallan sweeped his hand around the car. I chuckled.

"I've been on here for a few days." I shrugged. "A pony told me that I should go visit the Princess and get on my feet in Canterlot or Ponyville." I lied my ass off, and since I'm a pretty damn good liar, Gallan believed it.

"What's with the cloak?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Napalm." I simply answered. "Coated my entire body." He winced, but nodded.

"Right then." He cracked his fingers. "What's your name?"

"Captain Jacob Keyes." I answered. "Served in the Army for ten years so far." His eyebrows shot up.

"How'd you get promoted to Captain so quickly?" He questioned.

"I was in the 'nam, and the last Captain was killed by the Viet Cong." I answered. "Bastard was actually a smart officer; everyone under him loved him."

"Right." He looked back at the two mares behind him. "You wouldn't mind if I returned to my conversation, would you?" I simply gave him a shrug, causing him to excuse himself and go back to the others.

"...Have you heard about the ghost that's wandering around Appleloosa?" I heard someone ask another behind me. Shifting my head slightly to the right, I eavesdropped in on the conversation.

"You know that there's no such thing as ghosts!" A mare replied.

"It's true!" A southern voice cut in. Apple family. "Ah saw 'em with mah own eyes! Looks like that dead Prince feller, 'cept more ghost!" I binked at that. Why the hell would Blueblood, who was executed by a extermination squad, be haunting a farming community? Another question to ask Dawn when I arrive at the castle.

With a sigh, I settled in for a three hour ride as the train lurched forward.

"You heading to the castle?" I questioned Gallan as the train stopped in Canterlot Station.

"Nope, Wonderbolts show." He answered. "But I can give you directions, if you want." He then offered. After a second's pause, I nodded.

He told me the basic route that I use to get to the castle myself, before the three of them excused themselves and walked off towards the stadium.

With a sigh, I started off towards the castle, preparing to interrogate Dawn on why he thought it was a good idea to bring me back from the dead. Don't get me wrong, I like having a third chance, but _why_ do I have to still be a corpse to do it?!


	2. Chapter 2

**Reviews:**

**lexiconhuka: Mebbe**

**Lone The Dark Hearted Wolf: Oi! You still got one to write as well!**

**ShiningShadow1965:**  
**Mark:... Dunno. I'm not dead, but I'm not alive.**

"Halt!" Two guards crossed halberds in front of the gate, preventing me from entering. "Who goes there?!"

"A human, wishing to speak with the rulers." I calmly answered. They glanced at each other, before looking back at me.

"What is your name, human?" They asked.

"Captain Jacob Keyes." I answered. One of them pulled out a list from under her armour, letting her halberd rest against her shoulder.

"...Not listed on here." She said after a moment. "You new here, soldier?" I nodded, and they looked at each other again.

"What's with all the wrappings?" The other one asked, raising one of his eyebrows.

"I had an airstrike hit my position with napalm." I answered. "A type of fire that sticks to whatever it touches while burning. My entire body is covered in burn scars; not a pretty sight in the least." They both winced, but nodded.

"You're clear to go through." The mare said, both of them pulling the halberds out of the way. "Just don't cause any trouble, we already get enough of that with Iron." That confused me a bit, but I nodded and walked past them. I noticed that their noses crinkled a bit as I walked, causing me to mentally sigh.

'I can't help it if I'm a corpse that's been reanimated.' I miserably thought. 'Right now, all I wish was that I didn't fucking smell. I'm just glad I don't have a worm sticking out of my dick, which is surprisingly intact for about a year in the dirt, by how bad my body is.'

Wandering through the halls brought on a bit of nostalgia, even though it feels like I was just here yesterday. Passing by the throne room, I couldn't help but notice that they not only fixed the doors, but they also changed the colours to something less sun-like. I didn't bother looking in, as Dawn wouldn't be sitting up in front of a crowd of ponies. He's more of a 'behind the scenes' kind of ruler.

After about half an hour of slowly wandering around the place, I stumbled across a door that confused the hell out of me.

Iron Angel  
Son of Prince Timeithian

"What in god's name..." I gently pushed the door open and slipped inside. Lying in a crib fast asleep was a dark silver alicorn with the butt tattoo of a winged sword and black hair that had a white streak running through it. "Dawn had a son? But that means..." I had remembered the curse he told me about, and I refused to believe that Dawn was dead. It's impossible! You can't kill death!

"Nggg..." The colt rolled over and yawned, waking up. "Auntie Lulu...?" He mumbled, before opening his eyes. I looked at him in a non-threatening manner while he sat up. "You not Uncle Jerry. Who you?" I couldn't help but let out a silent _d'aww_ at his adorable self.

"A friend of Auntie Lulu." I answered, taking a seat. He blinked, before stretching out his body, little wings flaring out to the sides.

"Do I know you?" He asked in confusion. I shook my head, taking my sunglasses and hood off. I don't know why, but I felt at ease around the kid.

"No, and I don't know you." I answered, putting the aviators into a pocket. "But I knew your daddy." He brightened up at that, but looked a little depressed.

"Oh!" He smiled. "Could you tell story?" He asked as he flapped his wings and flew out of the crib.

"Sure." I wondered why he wasn't put off by my rotted face. As he sat down in front of me, he got a good whiff of my stench.

"You stink!" He held a hoof to his nose. I chuckled a bit.

"It's not polite to say that to others, Iron." I chided him, before clearing my brittle windpipe and holding out my hand that still had skin on it. "My name's Mark."

"Iron Angel!" He shook my hand, and I noticed (instead of felt; no nerves, remember?) that he dislocated my wrist. When I got it back, I shifted it back into place discreetly. "Story?"

"What do you want to hear?" I asked, leaning back in my seat.

"About daddy!" He hopped up and down without leaving his sitting position.

Y'know, I still wonder how the hell these ponies do that.

"Alright, let's see..." I folded my hands and drummed the fingers against each other, before snapping them. "Right! I'll tell you about the time your daddy and I ran around the castle, messing with the guards." With a small grin, I opened my mouth and proceeded to give this kid material to make the guards' life hell...

"...The guards' couldn't get the dye out of their fur for a week!" I grinned a bit. "So they all had to walk around in bright pink coats. Made the court very interesting for a while." Iron giggled, but the both of us paused when the door started opening. A maid came in wielding a tray of food, but paused when she saw me.

She screamed and ran out, dropping the food onto the ground. Angel had shrunk back at the scream, and whimpered.

"Why she scared?" He asked, looking at me. I got up and started moving the discarded food back onto the tray for him, doing my best to get as much onto it as possible.

"The way I look." I answered, plucking an apple off of the ground and walking back over to him. I set the tray back onto the ground. "Want this?" He shook his head, causing me to bite into the apple with a nasty sounding crunch. When I looked back at the bite mark, I saw two canines and three molars embedded into the flesh.

"You look funny, but not reason to be scared." Iron said as I wedged my teeth back into my jaw. Looks like I'm gonna need to eat soft foods like an old person.

"You're very smart, you know that?" I put the apple in a pocket and leaned forward. "You know what a grave is, right?" He nodded, causing me to run my hand through the semi-loose hair that I had left. "I kinda came out of one a few days ago, which is why I look like I do." He tilted his head to the side.

"You come back from dead?" He questioned.

"Yep." I answered. "And I look like it, too." Instead of looking scared, he grinned.

"That's cool!" He hopped up and down again, before nearly knocking over his tray. "Sorry." He sheepishly grinned.

"You need to eat your food so you can become like your dad." I said, looking around. I heard horses running in the distance, so I sighed and cracked my neck. "And you may not want to hear what's gonna happen." I added before getting up and stepping out of the room, sunglasses back on but hood still down.

"Okay." I heard him say before I softly closed the door behind me. I put my back to a wall and simply stared forward until the clip clop of hooves were around me.

"Stay where you are, abomination!" I heard Luna say, a silver sword entering the corner of my vision. "What did you do to my nephew?!"

"Tell him a story about Dawn." I sighed. "Is he really dead?"

"That is correct." She all but spat. I take it that zombies aren't liked around these parts.

"Shit..." I thunked my head against the wall, before looking at the semi-pissed alicorn.

She had grown about a foot, putting her on par with her deceased sister height wise. Her horn had also grown longer, and she didn't really have the aura of innocence that she had when I had last spoken to her.

"Who made you?" She demanded, pressing the sword to my throat.

"I don't know." I honestly answered. "All I know is that I woke up in my grave, not knowing why I was returned to life."

"Which human are you supposed to be?" She asked, not moving her sword from my throat. I growled, pushing it away and turning to her.

"I am Mark!" I said. "There's no 'supposed' in there!"

"You are an _abomination_!" She shouted.

"Fine." I glared. "Ask me something that only Mark would know."

"What did we talk about in the dream that Dawn and I both visited you in?" She asked, looking a bit smug and thinking that I would answer wrongly.

"Dawn wanted you to give me protection from your sister until after the wedding Cadence and Shining Armor were having." I answered. "We were on a firing range. I shot Dawn in the face with a 1911." Her eyes widened and she backed up slowly. "Why did Dawn have a child, knowing that he was going to die?" I asked my own question, one plaguing my mind ever since I opened the door to my left.

"...He was tired of what he had to endure." She finally said, not wanting to look at me after almost giving me a little off of the top.

"Yeah, I can understand that..." I sighed, before looking at my nails. "...Still, it doesn't make out as to how I'm here right now."

"Necromancy is the most likely reason." Luna sighed, looking to the side. "'Tis a forbidden study of magic, but I fear that it's almost impossible to micromanage every unicorn until a necromancer rears her head."

"Couldn't a stallion be a necromancer?" I rose an eyebrow. "I'll bloody debate sexism if I have to, Luna."

"...Right." She coughed. "Yes, a stallion could be a necromancer, though there have only been one or two out of the several dozen slain ones." I nodded in satisfaction at her yielding to the fact that both genders could do something.

Except being a SEAL. _Men_ can barely be SEALs, considering how fucking tough BUD/s is.

"So, what's the plan?" I asked after a moment, crossing my arms. "I'm neither dead nor alive, but I'm stuck on this plane of existance for some time, I bet."

"I honestly have no idea." She sighed, before stepping closer. My rotten body drove her back to her original spot. "Eugh, ye stinketh."

"I can't help if I was in an advanced state of decomposition." I shrugged. "Got a spell or anything to fix the smell?"

"I might." Her horn lit up and I started glowing a light blue. I would have probably felt tingly or something, but considering that I had no feeling anymore, I felt nothing.

"Now I know why zombies always shuffle around." I said as I shook my foot. "Feels like my foot is asleep, but it's dead. I don't even know if my heart's still in my chest or not!" That actually got her to snort after the light died down.

"Mind if I checked to see if your heart still beats?" She asked. I shrugged and removed my robe, folding it up in my arms. She grimaced a little bit at the gaping hole in my side, but shifted a rib away to peer inside.

"Well?" I questioned.

"...You are heartless. And missing a lung, stomach, spleen, liver, intestines, a kidney, and pancreas." She answered, actually shoving her hoof in to root around my chest a bit.

"I'd say that tickles, but I can't feel worth a damn." I said while she stuck her tongue out and rooted around some more. The way she was moving her hoof almost had it in there to the shoulder. "Luna! I get it, I'm not supposed to be moving around!" I had to yell to get her to stop. She withdrew her foreleg with a visible blush on her face.

"I'm sorry, it's just very rare to have a necromanced body willing to let somebody inspect it while it's still animated." She sheepishly backed up, slinging a bit of goo off of her hoof.

"I'll schedule a date with you later." I said, shifting my grip on my robe. "Would it be wise to visit AJ and my child?" I asked, ignoring her snicker. Her face fell for a moment.

"Yes, I believe it would be wise to visit the Apple family as soon as possible." She answered after shaking her head. "Especially since you probably didn't fix your grave after exiting it."

"I kinda flipped out once I saw my skin." I shrugged, rubbing my head. "Left my suit lying in the dirt as well. Pretty much the only things I took were my pistol, pants, a boot, and a spare magazine." She nodded and looked around, before whistling.

Out of nowhere, a unicorn night guard appeared, giving Luna a crisp salute. "Ma'am?" She questioned.

"Lieutenant Night Stalk, I require you to escort the recently reanimated General here to his home in Ponyville." Luna said. I wasn't really surprised that the Lt. nodded without a complaint.

"Follow me, sir." She said and walked off with me trailing behind her. Before we turned a corner, I gave a final wave to Luna, who gave a mock salute with a small smile. I chuckled, shaking my head.


	3. Chapter 3

**Reviews:**

**ShiningShadow1965:**  
**Mark: I find it weirder that I couldn't feel her hoof in my chest cavity.**

**iOptimumReaper:**  
**Mark: Damn skippy!**

**Guest: Yep.**

**spartan1735: Oh god, now I have a horrible idea!**

**LexiconHuka:**  
**Mark:...*drags worm out from under his left eye***

**AK74FU2: It will be a tale of epic adventure an... Honestly, it goes where it goes. I have no control over it, it has a conscious. It's Skynet 0.5.2, and I can't stop it.**

"So, you're General Durnkinscoff?" Night Stalk questioned as we walked through the castle. I had decided to forgo putting my robe back on, merely adjusting the loose flesh around the hole in my ribs while trying to fix the damage done to them by Luna.

"The one and only, in the cold flesh." I answered, looking up to avoid a skittish maid. "Why?"

"I was a sergeant during the attack on Canterlot." She answered. "One of the ones supposed to be hitting the castle." I blinked, looking at her.

"...Think I remember you." I said, giving up on the hole. It was fucked anyway. "That was a pretty hectic operation, and I kinda didn't leave with the rest of you." She chuckled a bit.

"I got wounded in the skirmish on the way." She shrugged as we walked out the front door. "Lucky bolt to the chest. Spent two months recovering the use of my left lung."

"You're lucky you have a left lung." I said. "I don't even need to breathe, I bet." That was something I actually wanted to try out. It would be cool if I could fuck around underwater or something for an infinite amount of time.

"Yeah..." She trailed off as she realized we had started entering Canterlot proper. "Are you gonna cover yourself up?"

"Why should I?" I questioned. "It's not like I give a damn about what these idiots think." She nodded with a grin.

"That's a good outlook on Canterlot in general." She said. "Ever since killing Celestia and the loyalist nobles, we've had less pompous ones replace them. Key figures like Fancy Pants are becoming more common."

"Fancy Pants is one of the nobles who knows how to relax, right?" I rose an eyebrow (which almost fell off with the motion).

"Yep. Others are like Blueblood was, but to a way lesser degree. They simply don't care about others as much, rather than want to grab everything for themselves."

"Sounds like a better place to live." I muttered, noticing that I've already attracted a lot of attention.

I singled out a kid who had stopped playing with a ball, causing it to roll towards me. I stepped away from my 'guard', picked it up, and gently tossed it to him.

"Nothing to see here. Move along." I called out loudly, causing Night to snort.

"So, how's the rest of Equestria faring?" I asked. She waved her hoof to a guard before responding.

"Depends on where you go." She answered. "Places where larger battles were fought are mostly recovered, while the rural towns and farms were barely affected. Ponyville was one of the only places not damaged at all, thanks to our forces protecting the hell out of it." I grinned a bit.

"Good." I paused to pick up a tooth that had fallen out, wedging it back into my jaw.

"Isn't that unhygienic?" Night questioned. I actually stopped to stare at her.

"...The hell type of disease is gonna affect a corpse?" I questioned, honestly curious. She facehoofed and sighed.

"I'm mostly portraying you as a living being to keep my mind from marking you as something to eliminate." She answered.

"Fair enough." I rubbed my wrist as we boarded the train, the lieutenant having flashed an ID to the ticket seller.

"Looking forward to reuniting with your wife?" She asked as we found a quiet spot for ourselves.

"...Yes and no..." I sighed, rubbing my face. "I don't know how she'll react to me coming back, or if she's even moved on yet."

"I'm supposed to be by your side, so I'll have your back." She grinned, causing me to chuckle a bit.

"Thanks, lass." I said, before looking around. "Any new discoveries or advancements?"

"Two new and rare species of ponies have been found." She said, causing my eyebrow to raise. "Goo ponies and Moth ponies. The former was found slinking around in a mire several hundred miles west of here. The latter was deep in the Everfree."

"Huh. How many live in Ponyville?"

"Three or four of each." She shrugged, leaning back. I nodded my head and poked at my ankle, which I just realized was dislocated.

"This is gonna get real annoying, real fast." I growled, putting it back in place. "So, what are the two species like?"

"Goo ponies feed off of liquids, and moth ponies act just like a moth." She shrugged. "They're more active at night, and most places have started keeping outside lights off to keep from distracting them." She leaned to her right and looked through an opening door. "There's a goo pony now, if you wish to get familiar with the species."

I turned to the left and watched as a liquid pony walk into the car. It was light blue, had a normal mane/tail, and left a trail of hoof prints where it stepped.

"Hello!" She chirped at Night, before noticing me. "Who're you?"

"Mark." I answered, holding my hand out. She shook it, and when I let go, I had slime covering my hand. My hand was dislocated again, causing me to shift it back into place.

"Radiance." She said, before focusing on Night. "Er..." I looked also and noticed that Night was sweating. "C-Could I have a drink?"

"Sure. Just the sweat for now, though." Night chuckled, peeling off her chest piece. "Lets the General observe your species' feeding habits." Her remark went ignored however, as Radiance pretty much bear hugged Night and collapsed a bit onto her.

"What do you mean by 'just the sweat'?" I asked while watching the sweat on her fur literally get absorbed by Radiance. It just fazed into her goo, not even needing a mouth.

"We usually get full two ways; absorbing sweat and water, and preforming sexual acts for fluids." Radiance answered, turning her head a full 180 to look at me. "It's pretty much common knowledge by now, how come you don't know?"

"I've been dead for almost a year." I shrugged.

"Actually, yesterday was the one year anniversary of the Sun Tyrant's death." Night piped up. "So you've been dead for a year and a day."

"Details." I waved my hand. "Anyway, I didn't even know your kind existed until a minute ago."

"Ah." Radiance let go of Night with a slurp, causing the bat pony to lean forward. She got non-sexually mounted by a bunch of goo and the process began to repeat.

"This feels very good." Night moaned. "One of the easiest and quickest ways to cool off." Her wings twitched, and I got an idea.

"Hey, when she's done, you want me to give you a massage?" That made her eyebrows raise. "I can tell you're tense, and I want to see if I'm still able to keep my day job."

"Fine." She nodded, before twitching again.

When the train finally stopped at Ponyville Station, I exited with two puddles next to me. One was a bat pony, the other was naturally a puddle.

"Ohhh by Luna you're good..." Night groaned. "I didn't even know I had knots in half the places I did!"

"Glad that I still got it." I grinned a bit, rubbing my hands together. The station was deserted at the moment, so I dawned my cloak and pulled the hood and bandanna on. "Spa first, I want to tell Aloe and Lotus I'm back and willing to work."

"You sure that's a good idea?" Radiance questioned.

"Unless Luna hires me as an adviser or something, I have no job at the moment." I answered. "A year ago, I became another KIA in the war."

"And I would understand completely if you decided to retire from the military." Night added. "Not many get to leave with full honors in a coffin and get to walk around later."

"Yeah. Let's get going, shall we? I don't want to wait around and suddenly start, only to find out that I left my leg behind." I said, muttering that last part.


	4. Chapter 4

**Reviews:**

**General Friedrich Alpers: Yeppers.**

**MLPFan298: 4chan is wat.**

**lexiconhuka: That... can actually happen.**

**spartan1735:**  
**Mark: Good idea.**

**RenaTamer: AJ, Cheerilee, Scratch, Dash, and Fluttershy. Yeah, pretty much.**  
**mfw Yellowquiet took it the hardest besides Bluefast.**

"Welcome to the Ponyville Spa!" Aloe greeted us as we walked into the lobby. "What can we do for the three of you?"

"I'm looking for a job." I said, stepping forward. "Do you have a spot for a masseuse?" She gave me a slightly pained smile.

"We haven't been able to fill in the position after the last one passed away." She answered.

"I'm sorry. How did he die?"

"I wasn't there, but I was told by a Mr. Schmidt that he was blown up by an energy blast." She answered. So Schmidt went around and talked to the ones we were with? Man, he must've had a hard time with AJ.

"I'm sorry for your loss." I said. "I know how it feels to lose friends as well."

"Yeah.." She sighed. "But that's all in the past, and most of the town has moved on." Lotus came in, smiling a bit.

"Here about the job?" Lotus questioned, looking me up and down. "How good are you?" Well, it's now or never.

"You tell me." I answered, dropping my false voice. "I've worked for you for almost four years before dying." They both gasped and took a few steps back.

"How is this possible?" Aloe muttered, holding a hoof to her mouth.

"We aren't sure." The lieutenant stepped forward. "But rest assured, General Mark is completely harmless. Unless you're an enemy, of course." She muttered that last part.

"Are you certain?" Lotus coughed a little. "Well then, we'd be idiots to deny you your job back just because you're a little different. Welcome back, hon." She grinned, holding out her hoof. I shook it, and was a bit surprised that my hand didn't get dislocated again. Probably because I shook with my left hand, but whatever.

"It's good to be back." I grinned, watching as a tooth fell out. "I should probably keep my mouth mostly shut. Can't keep my teeth in otherwise." I added, bending down and replacing it. "Or get some gorilla glue..." I muttered under my breath.

"Er, what do you mean?" Aloe hesitantly asked. To answer her question, I pulled the bandanna down and pushed my hood back. They both recoiled.

"I didn't come back to life." I shrugged. "Somehow I've made it here without having to put a limb back on." I bet it would be like the 1999 (if I recall right) version of the Mummy. Stick it back where it needed to be and screw it back on.

"Well, we think no different of you, hon." Lotus smiled a bit. "When's a good time for you to start again?"

"About a week from now, I suppose." I answered. "That'll get me enough time to settle back in." They nodded, knowing that it can take a little time to get adjusted to a new life.

"We'll see you around town, then." Aloe nodded. "Or in a week, depending." I waved at them as Night and I left, the spa twins keeping Radiance back to talk with her.

"Well, that went better than I expected." Night commented as we were walking down the street.

"What did you expect?" I asked, though I was fairly sure what she thought.

"Them to run away from you, screaming 'zombie!' as they went." She answered, waving her hooves around for added fake drama. I let out a laugh, holding my side to make sure nothing slipped out and onto the ground.

"Ponyville has seen a whole lot of weird shit, even before I came here." I explained. "A zombie walking around and acting like a human ain't the weirdest." As I said that, I waved to a colt, Pipsqueak if I remember right, who hesitantly waved back. "See? Completely normal here." Well, that was before I _heard_ a gunshot rather than _felt_ a bullet hit me. I merely stopped and looked down at my chest, a 7.62mm hole where my heart would be.

"Well, shit." I sighed. "Sounds like an M24, and since Duffy's dead, who took up the reigns as the town sniper?" A second one knocked me to the ground, actually leaving a leg standing up. "Fuckin' 'ell." I groaned. I heard a pair of wings beating close by and a pegasus dropping to the ground.

"Stay back, citizen." Night commanded.

"Don't you see the zombie right next to you? It needs to be destroyed before it can infect the town." A brash, and extremely familiar voice said.

"Fuck you too, Dash." I called out, extending my left hand and letting the middle finger stand tall and proud. A rifle clattered to the ground, and I lifted my head to see Dash, older and looking like it, staring at me in shock. She was wearing a black tactical vest that was probably a copy of a bullet-proof vest with pockets sewn into the Kelviar or whatever it was. "What? Never seen a ghost before? Or zombie, in my case. Point still stands, though."

She slowly walked over to me, before poking me in the chest to make sure I wasn't an illusion.

"Mark you mother fucker!" She slapped me across the face with a hoof, before hugging my chest tightly. "I don't care how you're back, but I'm fucking glad to see you..." Night just stood next to us awkwardly, shifting in her armour.

"What happened here while I was away?" I asked when she let me go, sitting up and reaching for my leg.

"Most of the town mourned you and the others." She explained while I reattached my leg, just like I thought I was gonna have to. "But AJ and I took it the hardest..."

"I can tell you've changed." I said, before lowering my voice. "How'd my death affect AJ?"

"She would've taken up drinking if she didn't have a foal." She softly replied. "As it is, she's been working less on everything, even after your son was born."

"Christ..." I muttered, twisting my leg around a few times. After a moment, I felt that it was attached enough for the moment, and got to my feet. "Where is she?"

"Sweet Apple Acres." Dash sighed, before looking at me. "I'll join you two."

"Just don't shoot the General again." Night muttered, causing Dash to grin sheepishly. "Seriously, Luna would have me hanged if he were to die on my watch."

"I literally just lost my heart." I stated, stretching a bit. "Hell, I don't think a bullet to the head would kill me at this point."

"I don't want to test that theory, damn it." Night grumbled as she followed me.

As we walked down the road, I didn't need to look to see that I was scaring the population.

"We should've waited until dark." I commented. "Then I wouldn't scare anyone with the fact that I'm dead."

"Then I would probably have shot Night as well." Dash said, rubbing the back of her neck while her ears folded slightly.

"Honestly?" Night gave off a small smile. "You could've. I'm not sure about during the darkest hours of the night, but I wouldn't have reacted fast enough to stop you." Dash blushed a bit at the compliment. "Who taught you to shoot?"

"Duffy." She sighed, scuffing the ground. "Before... it all began."

"I'm sorry." Night softly said, draping a leathery wing over Dash's back. "I lost my husband in the first days, during the Purge."

"How long were you two together?" I asked as Dash was staring down at the dirt.

"Five years." She smiled a bit. "We have a wonder foa— Oh fuck!" She suddenly swore, startling Dash. "Ma'am, could I borrow your phone if you have one?" That got me to raise my ragged eyebrow as Dash pulled an honest to god flip phone from one of her vest pockets. "Thank you."

"What the everloving shit?" I muttered to Dash. "Equestria didn't have fucking phones before I blew up." Dash blinked, before looking at Night who was muttering at the device.

"Luna had the Corps of Engineers reverse engineer a radio." I scowled a bit. "Relax, they're a lot better than they were before, considering that they consist of Night and Death veterans from the war."

"Just veterans?" I questioned. "None of them are recruits?"

"To join, you _have_ to be a veteran." Dash chuckled a bit at my look. "Luna's orders. Weeds out the arrogant and idiotic before they can get somebody hurt."

"Sounds reasonable." I sighed, looking over as Night returned, handing Dash's cell phone (that sounds weird to me) back.

"Thanks, ma'am." Night smiled a bit. "In the General's haste to get to Ponyville," she ignored my snort, "I had forgotten to tell my friend to pick up my daughter after daycare."

"Always ready to be of use." Dash smiled. "Can't be the Militia Captain of Ponyville and just idle around all day." I was just getting floored all over the fucking place today.

"Ponyville has a militia?" I questioned. "When did this happen?"

"About a month after the event in Canterlot." Night answered. "Gryphons preformed raids on several towns throughout Equestria before Prince Dawn was able to stop them. To prevent more attacks, one of the Death guard generals suggested that every town have a trained militia to help the guard defend itself."

"Huh. The more you know, I guess." I shook my head. "Look, we're getting off track here. I want to see my wife, my son, and have enough booze to kill my liver again." Night snorted, before whacking my leg with her tail.

"Idjit, your liver isn't working, remember? You didn't die when a 7.62 decided to meet up with your heart, after all."

"Wait, what?" Dash was confused.

"I'm as alive as dirt right now." I shrugged. "Isn't stopping me from walkin' and talkin' though."

"... Right now, its not important." Dash finally sighed, before shaking her head. "C'mon, we're wasting time, and I have to fill out paperwork over this little misunderstanding."

"I pity you." I said, getting her to chuckle. A moment later and the three of us were walking off to my home.


End file.
